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The Strife of Pi

When I need to recall the combination to the lock on my storage unit, I imagine the Incredible Hulk picking up Humpty Dumpty and cracking him in half, while Michelle Obama eats out Humpty's delicious innards with a spoon.

When I need to recall the combination for the lock on my toolshed, I think of cellist Yo-Yo Ma playing a romantic tune while actress Nicole Kidman seduces Vladimir Putin on a loveseat. And, When I need to recall THIS number:

3.1415926535897932384626
43383279502884197169399
37510582097494459230781


otherwise known as π (pi) calculated to the 66th decimal place, I envision the image above.

An effective memory technique is to firmly associate each number between 00 and 99 with a distinct character or person, real or fictional. Create and memorize such a list, and there's almost no number you can't quickly memorize—IF you are a weirdo like me and can imagine these characters doing strange (but more importantly VERY MEMORABLE) things to each other. I created my personal list a few months ago, selecting figures from politics, culture and personal history. Here it is:



Everyone knows pi = 3.14, so I don't waste time assigning characters to that, but I make 3.14 the tail number on a plane crashed by Maya Lin (who represents 15) and Dr. Fauci (standing in for 92), which freaks out Mothman (65) and the Easter Bunny (35), who spills his eggs on Greta Thunberg (89). In their speedy getaway from this calamity, Tim Pool (79) and Julian Assange (32) skateboard past dancers Clarence Thomas (38) and Mona Lisa (46), and Waldo (26) and Joan of Arc (43), who dodge the skaters just in time.

Now this is where it gets weird. That "79-32-38" sequence in Pi, of Tim Pool (79) Julian Assange (32) and Clarence Thomas (38), GETS REPEATED in reverse order a few digits later with "38-32-79" as Clarence Thomas, angry at having to hop aside from the skaters, trips them down the stairs. Just a fun thing about pi!

So the skateboard goes a-flyin', striking poor Liberace (50), who strikes a wrong chord upsetting piano-pal Michael Phelps (28), who ruins Oprah's (84) card game. Dracula (19) and Elon Musk (71) watch this disorder while being served by a very submissive Prince Harry (69), holding the train of Ann Boleyn (39), who is being fed by Oscar the Grouch (93), whose garbage cans are being carried by Hillary Clinton (75) and a Squid Game guard (10), who feeds Munchy my childhood stuffed animal (58), who cradles Megan Thee Stallion (20) , who is being hounded for an autograph by the horse from Picasso's "Guernica" (97), who is being hair-sniffed by Joe Biden (49), who is doing the same to Hermione Granger (44), who is about to be kidnapped by Ghislaine Maxwell (59). Alec Baldwin (23), observing this with disdain, accidentally shoots Mayor McCheese (07), who is being cannibalized by Marina Abramovich (81).


Yes, I feel fine. Why do you ask?